I’ve been really lucky to get to spend the last few days in the Hamptons with one of my best friends- relaxing, beaching, DRINKING, chatting…I honestly do feel refreshed and ready to go back to the city (tho I do wish I could stay for just a FEW more days…or that I knew when I was going to get to come back).
I’m realizing, and not just now that I’ve been living out of a suitcase and loving it for the past couple days, that I’m really craving more simplicity in my life. I’ve come a long way since a year or two years ago- having multiple jobs, not knowing where/what I was headed into or who I really wanted to be. I now have one kickass job that I love doing- performing every freaking night- and am slowly working on adding gig work that means something to me on the side. It feels amazing to be in a place where I can be picky about extra work I pick up BECAUSE I DON’T FINANCIALLY NEED IT, and it feels even better to not have to deal with 7 different schedules. Don’t get me wrong…I got really good at juggling all my different lives and having a lot on my plate. But that’s a skill I’d rather be using in other ways that benefit me more than making me feel exhausted at the end of every day because of the hustle.
It’s time to start actively seeking more simplicity…not sure what that means yet…if I’m supposed to give up some shit I own or stop buying new clothes…but I’m tired of my head feeling more jumbled than it needs to. Cause right now is pretty great and I don’t have time to worry about other people or what might or might not happen tomorrow.
Try not to confuse attachment with love. Attachment is about fear and dependency, and has more to do with love of self than love of another. Love without attachment is the purest love because it isn’t about what others can give you because you’re empty. It is about what you can give others because you’re already full.
It’s really inspiring to hear these incredible, influential people speak about the difficulty of coming to terms with their identity in a culture that feels like it only has room for the heteronormative. Feeling pretty thankful I made it out of my childhood/teenage years alive- growing up in an extremely conservative environment created a lot of depression in my life for a very long time.
I really want to work on some sort of project- hearing stories from the really great people in my life, how they came out. How they dealt with/felt/currently live in a country that doesn’t let homosexual couples legally marry in every state. I’m also interested in hearing from some of the amazing Allies I have in my life (there are so many but I feel like some of the coolest happen to be my friends) and what their experience as a “norm” has shaped their upbringing and how they first experienced what LGBT is if it every crossed their minds that we were anything less than normal people like them.
And now I’m laughing at myself cause nobody I know is “normal”…